My life is a COMEDY

Ok so you know by now how important setting is for me when telling a story. Get this:
I'm on the LIRR. It's rush hour. It finally doesn't smell like lunchmeats but instead corndogs (I actually do NOT mind one bit.) So I notice this dude with a scruffy redish-brown beard who looks strangly familiar. Hmm, can't quite put my finger on it.
After a few seconds of thought I came up with the solution.
Oh wait, thats the dude "JamesJohnson"(ironic) from Snapchat who sends me random penis pictures during all hours of the day/night. He casually sits down vertically from me but once eye contact is made, he knows he is not so annonymous anymore. As he is shifting and squirming uncontrollably in his seat, I keep tying to stare and catch his eye again. I was going to give him a little wink to let him know his junk was pretty decent and to keep up the good work. Sucks that the fucker couldnt change seats because it's a packed train! HA HA HA. Great, now I have to have the vivid image of your dick cemented in my brain as I play Candy Crush like some sort of crack addict. I literally just spent 3$ on that game by buying more moves. I must be sick in the head. A normal person does NOT spent money on games.....
Anyways, I'm going to get back to sending awkward glances to Mr. Penis for the rest of my commute.
Toodaloo!
XO!


I am Samantha K and I approve this message.